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AZ Confidential: The Good, The Bad and The Phu-kin Uglies for all of March 2012 releases

For those who missed the Feb blog click away, onto the March releases. I apologize for this month for not seeing as much as I should have. I blame March Madness for distracting me away from the theatres. I will update this post if I get to the rest of the films. As usual The Good (which is self explanatory), The Bad (or I would just call it mediocre), and the Fucking Uglies (which are horrible and should be avoided like the plague).


The Good(s)

Project X- This makes Super Bad look PG in comparison. I just loved how things escalated from calm to wild & chaotic in a short period of time. I know the party movie genre has been done so many times but this one seems to pack everything into one movie. I don't know if the director meant it or not but Thomas/Khub (the one they are throwing a party for) looked and reminded me of Cameron (best friend) from Ferris Bueller's Day Off and he even had the scaredy cat syndrome. Costa reminded me of the Jonah Hill of the bunch just says and do what he wants and of course has the life of the party mentality. Overall a fucking good time, as it will make you reminisce your own high school/college days.  


The Lorax-  As I was watching this the John Denver TV ad kept popping into my head. You know the one that was always on in the 90's Plant a tree for your tomorrow. I hated that song with a passion and it drove me fucking nuts. It was all about the recycling movement then and nowaways it is more like a car alarm you don't even bother if it is going off nearby.  This movie was probably better than most of the U.S. animated movies released in 2011.  Could there ever be a more perfect cast than Danny Devito as the Lorax? Only thing I hated was the singing but that's just me because I don't walk into a grocery store and decide to bust out into a song and dance number because I got the joyness in me. 



The Bad(s)

The Hunger Games- The next fucking person that comes up to me and tells me that this movie is so great I am just gonna go Doyle (from Sling Blade) on there ass. Go rent Battle Royale then come talk to me and tell me which one is superior (no comparison whatsoever probably a ripoff from BR too). The problem I have with this movie is that it takes a good hour and a half or so just on the intro/setup of the movie. Plus things seem to drag on at a glacial pace.Then when the actual Games starts you only see maybe less than ten out of twenty-four or so of the fights/deaths (if you call it seeing as the camera is shaky as fuck and dark).  The boom noises was just irritating I wanted to see who was dead or not because near the end I had no idea who was left. Wish they would have shown the Games portion from the point of view as the audience would have seen it, because all we get to see is a bitch either sleeping in the trees, passed out with leaves around her, or crying most of the god damn time. Get over it. BTW, was the little girl a lesbian? She sure had the munchies for Katniss. Then when you win the damn thing they don't even give you nothing? WTF? I would expect some money, food, maybe a house or something. Nope they just send you back to your shitty house in your shitty district. My question is if you have to take a shit or piss in the woods do they put that on TV as well? Another question if you can create an animal or food with the computer generator why not create food for everyone to end the hunger?


John Carter- I was under the impression that humans couldn't breathe on Mars but what do I know. This movie was Aladdin meets Star Wars only the main characters were older than needed to be. Is it me or the princess (Lynn Collins) was just annoying as fuck in this movie. Shut up, shut the fuck up! Matter of fact most of the humans I didn't care for just wanted them to focus on the four-armed aliens. When the aliens were not involved there were long periods of nothing going on as they journeyed across the land. This movie could have easily been shortened by 30 minutes and packed in more action. Guess Disney seems to know what there doing, oh wait, never mind. 


21 Jump Street- I admit I have not seen the original 80's TV show (sorry a late bloomer in films/tv) so I can't make any comparisons to it. I thought Jonah Hill was superb in this movie, however, felt completely opposite about Channing Tatum. Just felt Tatum's acting chops couldn't match what Jonah brought to the table. Ice Cubes cameo was eerily similar to Puff Daddy in Get Him to the Greek (which also starred Jonah Hill). Loved 2/3 of the movie but the final act I felt was flat and seems rushed. Starting from the weak car(less) chase scene, to the final showdown in the school (which seemed sloppy and thrown together along with the weak surprise cameo reveal), and onto the limo chase scene.  


Jeff Who Lives at Home- God damn how old did Rae Dawn Chong (daughter of Tommy Chong) get? She seems to have disappeared after appearing in several big movies in the 80's and 90's and now she reappears in this to be a carpet muncher with Susan Sarandon? Yecht! Just felt like someone was smoking one hell of a........well you know and thrown a script together for this movie. Really doesn't go anywhere and then at the end the whole family gets stuck in traffic at the same time in different cars? What is the likelyhood of that happening? 1-in-a-100 million? I think it would have been better if Jeff (Jason Segel) drowned instead of living. What purpose does he have to live now that he saved Kevin?


Rampart- Thought this would have been a lot better than it was. Just felt that this mostly was about Woody Harrelson's (a dirty cop) problems piling on. From the Rodney King like beatdown caught on tape, womanizing, having two daughters from two sisters (don't ask), to another scandal of stealing money. The problems got bigger and bigger but doesn't show any resolution, I guess you have to fill in the rest of the story. I would stick with watching Southland on TV or rent the Shield instead.  


The Fucking Uglies

Silent House- Another Elizabeth Olsen- Is it in my head or not? type of movie. I hope she doesn't get typecast into doing this types of movies. I would like to see her range and maybe do a comedy. This movie had alot of potential but the big reveal on who did it was headscratching at best. Like a 100 lbs. girl can drag 2 guys from one room upstairs to downstairs. I mean c'mon get real. It did have good tensions building up but you knew right from the beginning that something was going on between the uncle, father and her.  Save this for the when it comes out on DVD or don't even bother watching this.


A Thousand Words- Why does Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy both make shitty movies but the Sandman's movies gross $100+ million and Eddie's are always a flop? You know the movie is awful when he is not able to speak but when he writes something down the leaves are still dropping. How is that possible? Yet when he makes weird animal noises the leaves don't fall? The whole plot was dumb and you would think that a tree with no leaves is not dead but it might just be a seasonal change? I was just hoping for one of those Final Destination type deaths but sadly nothing came about. Matter of fact he lives and he is talking again, yipes let me out of the theatre please! 


TBD/ Incomplete

Wrath of the Titans- I think Sam Worthington may be one of the most OVERRATED actors out there. Name me a great movie he did? Avatar? More about the special effects than him. Terminator Salvation? Yuck. Clash of the Titans. Hahahaa. nope.


Mirror Mirror- This looks horrible compared to Snow White and the Huntsman.


Friends with Kids- A mini Bridesmaid reunion and Adam Scotts first starring role, alot of intrigue. Although I still can't look at Maya Rudolph. (Sorry Shari I didn't get to this)


Casa Mi Padre- Hmmm a Spanish speaking Will Ferrell making fun of Telenova?


Salmon Fishing in the Yemen- The title to me says stay away but it does have Emily Blunt.


Seeking Justice- Another Nic Cage flick. I'll pass learned my lesson.

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Comment by j24young on April 3, 2012 at 10:41am

Well Project X may not have the best of scripts, but it was mindless fun entertainment for 90 minutes. Compared to everything else I have seen this month, that movie sticks out the most.

Comment by Dave Lathrop on April 2, 2012 at 5:38pm

Thats what I was thinking Shari... if Project X was one of the best movies of the month, then the devil must be drinking iced tea...

Comment by Shari K. Green on April 2, 2012 at 5:12pm

Project X was good???

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